{"title":"Impish Cards","description":"\u003ch1 class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(255, 42, 0);\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch1\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(255, 42, 0);\"\u003eStock Up and Save - Buy three cards and get a fourth free!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eLife is too short to give bad cards.  \u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur collection of snarky, sarcastic, and delightfully inappropriate cards says all the things you're thinking but probably shouldn't say out loud. Perfect for friends, family, coworkers, and anyone who appreciates humor with a little bite.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"besties-before-testes-card","title":"Besties Before Testes Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003eChannel your inner girl power with a card that gets straight to the point! This card celebrates the women who were there for the terrible breakup, the endless string of first dates and really just... all the bad decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for any occasion you want your bestie to know that they're the shit!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eProduct Descriptions - This card measures \u003c\/span\u003e4.25\" × 5.5\" and is printed on quality linen-textured cardstock. It comes with a coordinating card and is wrapped in a cellophane sleeve.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Beckamade.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Beckamade","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54177023525139,"sku":"CARDTestes","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_2740.jpg?v=1782349322"},{"product_id":"damn-bitch-you-is-fine-funny-romance-anniversary-card","title":"Damn Bitch, You Is Fine Anniversary Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDamn Bitch, You Is Fine Anniversary Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eDrop the pretense and let the love of your life know what a stone fox you think they are! Perfect for Valentine's Day, anniversaries or any time you want to let them know they are simply smokin' hot! \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e4-3\/8\" x 5-3\/4\" and is made of premium quality, soft touch cardstock. This card is specialty die cut, comes with a coordinating envelope and is individually package in a cellophane sleeve.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted in the USA.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Bad Betty Greeting Company.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bad Betty Greeting Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54181612454163,"sku":"CARD-0198","price":6.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_4897.jpg?v=1782791852"},{"product_id":"congrats-on-your-little-nugget-greeting-card","title":"Congrats On Your Little Nugget Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCongrats On Your Little Nugget Greeting Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eCelebrate the newest bundle of joy with this \u003cem\u003eCongrats On Your Little Nugget\u003c\/em\u003e Card. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003ePerfect for new parents, baby showers, or gender reveals.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e4.25\" × 5.5\" and is digitally printed on 100% cotton paper with matching envelope.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMade in the USA\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Inviting Affairs Paperie.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"inviting affairs paperie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191294480659,"sku":"1001-0015","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_2319.jpg?v=1781917205"},{"product_id":"make-a-wish-birthday-card","title":"Make a Wish Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMake a Wish Birthday Card - \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eFor the wellness enthusiast in your life.  Gift this card to the person who treats self-care like a competitive sport! \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e4.25\" × 5.5\" and is digitally printed on 100% cotton paper. Comes with a white envelope.  \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted in the USA.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"94\" data-end=\"320\"\u003eDesigned by Inviting Affairs Paperie.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"inviting affairs paperie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191294513427,"sku":"1001-0076","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_2392.jpg?v=1781920834"},{"product_id":"i-love-you-more-than-diet-coke-card","title":"I Love You More Than Diet Coke Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI Love You More Than Diet Coke Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eHow much do you have to love someone to love them more than Diet Coke.  May this be the standard that we hold ourselves and others to. Perfect for anniversaries, Valentine's or any time you want to earn some love bonus points!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - Card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e4.25\" × 5.5\" and is made with \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003epremium-quality cardstock for a polished look.  Includes envelope and is blank inside.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted in the USA.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Inviting Affairs Paperie.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"inviting affairs paperie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191294546195,"sku":"1001-0060","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_4749.jpg?v=1782788245"},{"product_id":"hay-greeting-card","title":"Hay Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHay Greeting Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eThis card is perfect for any occasion or if you just want to say \"Haaaaaayyyyyyyy!!\" \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eBecause sometimes simplicity says everything.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e4.25\" × 5.5\" and is made with cotton paper and a white envelope. Digitally printed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMade in the USA\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Inviting Affairs Paperie.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"inviting affairs paperie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191294578963,"sku":"1001-0046","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_4744.jpg?v=1782788466"},{"product_id":"holy-crap-baby-card","title":"Holy Crap Baby Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHoly Crap Baby Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eA tiny human is on its way in.  Your sleep is on its way out.  Gift this New Baby card to anyone who is about to be slapped with the realization that sleep, privacy and sex is quickly becoming a thing of the past. Cheers to leaky boobs!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e4.25 x 5.5\" and is printed on recycled cardstock.  Blank on the inside - Just like your intelligence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Little Lovelies.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Little Lovelies Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191295529235,"sku":"C1503-G","price":5.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_2327.jpg?v=1781917366"},{"product_id":"congrats-on-your-tiny-loud-roommate-baby-card","title":"Congrats on Your Tiny, Loud Roommate Baby Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCongrats on Your Tiny, Loud Roommate Baby Card -\u003c\/strong\u003e Remove your \"Seeking Roommate\" ad, a tiny human has officially put their name on your lease! Gift this card to anyone who is about to find out that babies loud, rude and have very little respect for personal boundary space.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e4.25\" x 5.5\" and is printed in recycled heavyweight cardstock. It comes with a kraft envelope and is blank inside for you to write down all the phone numbers for potential babysitters and therapists.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted in the USA\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Little Lovelies Studio.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Little Lovelies Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191295562003,"sku":"C1530","price":5.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_2239.heic?v=1781914861"},{"product_id":"funny-birthday-card-you-look-good-for-being-so-old","title":"You Look Good for Being So Old Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYou Look Good for Being So Old Birthday Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eRoast your special someone with this \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eYou Look Good for Being So Old \u003c\/em\u003eBirthday card. With age comes wisdom, even if that wisdom is don't ever try to guess someone's age. Respectfully...\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e4.25\" x 5.5\" and is printed on eco-friendly recycled cardstock. It includes a kraft envelope and is blank on the inside.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted in the USA \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Little Lovelies Studio.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Little Lovelies Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191295594771,"sku":"C151","price":5.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_2421.jpg?v=1781921295"},{"product_id":"tini-bit-older-funny-birthday-card","title":"Tini Bit Older Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTini Bit Older Funny Birthday Card -\u003c\/strong\u003eCelebrate impending old age in style with this funny \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eTini Bit Older \u003c\/em\u003eBirthday Card. It won't stop the clock - But, if you drink a couple of 'tinis, you'll still be older but you won't care!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e4.25\" x 5.5,\" is printed on \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eeco-friendly recycled cardstock, and comes with its own kraft envelope.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Little Lovelies Studio.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Little Lovelies Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191295627539,"sku":"C160","price":5.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_2381.jpg?v=1781918821"},{"product_id":"favorite-plot-twist-valentine-s-day-card","title":"Favorite Plot Twist Valentine’s Day Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFavorite Plot Twist Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eLife may not always imitate your average cheesy Rom-Com but you can act like it does with this \u003cem\u003eFavorite Plot Twist \u003c\/em\u003eCard. Gift it for Valentine's Day, Anniversaries, Weddings, or when you want life to imitate La La Land (please don't dance on freeway overpasses though, that shit is dangerous)!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA2 size 4.25\" x 5.5\", is made of recycled cardstock and comes with its own kraft envelope.  This card is blank inside for you to list all the ways that Ryan Gosling is hot!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Little Lovelies Studio.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Little Lovelies Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191295660307,"sku":"C1166","price":5.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_4887.jpg?v=1782792640"},{"product_id":"i-miss-your-face-greeting-card","title":"I Miss Your Face Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI Miss Your Face Greeting Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eThey say \"absence makes the heart grow fonder.\" If this is true than there is no better way to show how much you miss someone than with this \u003cem\u003eI Miss Your Face\u003c\/em\u003e Greeting Card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e4.25\" x 5.5\" and is printed on high-quality, thick cardstock * Blank inside * White paper envelope included * Enclosed in a crystal clear card sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Ink \u0026amp; Attitude Stationery Company\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink \u0026 Attitude Stationery Company LLC","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191295889683,"sku":"INK132","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_5001.jpg?v=1782794911"},{"product_id":"coochie-coo-funny-baby-shower-greeting-cards","title":"Coochie Coo New Baby Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCoochie Coo New Baby Card -\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eFor the parent who's heard every nursery rhyme, every baby milestone, and approximately 47,000 unsolicited parenting tips. This card perfectly captures the magical moment when sleep deprivation meets a complete loss of social filters. Because sometimes \"goo goo ga ga\" just doesn't cover it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures  5”x7” and is printed on heavyweight bright white matte card stock and comes in a no-flap clear sleeve with a matching envelope. The inside is blank so you have room to include every bad piece of parenting advice your mother told you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by In A Nutshell Studio.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"In A Nutshell Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191295922451,"sku":"IN345","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_2315.jpg?v=1781917036"},{"product_id":"happy-holidays-shit-funny-christmas-card","title":"Happy Holidays \u0026 Shit Christmas Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHappy Holidays \u0026amp; Shit Funny Christmas Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eWhen your Holiday spirit has gone up and left, it's the perfect time for this \u003cem\u003eHappy Holidays and Shit\u003c\/em\u003e card.  This is the card when you absolutely can't even fake it. Let people know how eager you are for January 2nd.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e5”x7” and is printed on \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eheavyweight bright white matte card stock and comes in a no-flap clear sleeve with a matching envelope.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by In a Nutshell Studio.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"In A Nutshell Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191295987987,"sku":"IN330","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_4685.jpg?v=1782783527"},{"product_id":"lets-make-out-naughty-christmas-seasons-greetings-card","title":"Let's Make Out Christmas Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eBecause sometimes the holidays need a little less tinsel and a little more sexual tension (unless you're into that kind of thing). 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In the meantime, show them that none of these thing matter with this \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eStill Love You\u003c\/em\u003e Love Card.  Look, relationships are hard but any day is a good day when you don't smother each other with a pillow!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measure 5x7\" and comes with a kraft envelope.  It is printed \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eon heavyweight bright white matte card stock and comes in a no-flap clear sleeve. Each card is blank on the inside so you can fill in your own reasons why you want to throttle the one you love.  Perfect for every day, Valentine's Day, Anniversaries or just because!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by In a Nutshell Studios.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"In A Nutshell Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191296119059,"sku":"IN333","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_4882.jpg?v=1782791351"},{"product_id":"would-bang-again-funny-anniversary-greeting-card","title":"Would Bang Again Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWould Bang Again Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eGive the special someone in your life the gift of a five star rating with this \u003cem\u003eWould Bang Again\u003c\/em\u003e Card! What better compliment is there to give than, \"Hey, you rocked my world last night (or last year, no judgment)! Perfect for Anniversaries, Valentine's Day or just because!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures 5x7, \"includes an envelope and comes in a cello sleeve for protection.  Each card is blank inside so you can pen your own version of \"How do I love thee, let me count the ways?\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by In a Nutshell Studio.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"In A Nutshell Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191296184595,"sku":"IN005","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_4875.jpg?v=1782791540"},{"product_id":"missing-the-crap-out-of-you-in042","title":"Missing The Crap Out Of You Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMissing The Crap Out Of You Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eWhen you miss someone so much it hurts—literally—this card says it all. Sometimes the best sentiments involve the simplest of words.  \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures 5x7\" and includes a blank envelope. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eEach card is printed on heavyweight bright white matte card stock and comes in a no-flap clear sleeve.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by In a Nutshell Studio.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"In A Nutshell Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191296217363,"sku":"IN042","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_4996.jpg?v=1782795067"},{"product_id":"so-many-candles-greeting-card","title":"So. Many. Candles. Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSo. Many. Candles. Birthday Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eMake sure you have fresh batteries in the ole' fire alarm because its Birthday time!! Keep the fire department on standby with this \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eSo. Many. Candles.\u003c\/em\u003e Birthday Card! It is the perfect way to \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003ecelebrate another year of aging gracefully—or at least surviving it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e4.25\" x 5.5\", is printed on high-quality, thick cardstock and comes with a white paper envelope and cello sleeve for protection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCard is blank so you can impart fire safety tips.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Ink \u0026amp; Attitude Stationery Company.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink \u0026 Attitude Stationery Company LLC","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191296250131,"sku":"INK259","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_2462.jpg?v=1782344481"},{"product_id":"i-know-people-older-than-you-greeting-card","title":"I Know People Older Than You Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI Know People Older Than You Birthday Card -\u003c\/strong\u003e Sadly there is no magic word or phrase to soften the blow of aging.  Always best to go with rigorous honestly with this, \u003cem\u003eI Know People Older Than You \u003c\/em\u003eBirthday Card!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures 4.25\" x 5.5\", is printed on high-quality, thick cardstock and includes a white paper envelope. Also, enclosed in a cellophane card sleeve.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlank inside for you to try and find an upside to crow's feet and marionette lines!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Ink \u0026amp; Attitude Stationery Company.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink \u0026 Attitude Stationery Company LLC","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191296282899,"sku":"INK030","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_2456.jpg?v=1782345034"},{"product_id":"sucked-the-life-plant-lover-mothers-day-greeting-card","title":"Sucked The Life Mother's Day Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSucked The Life Mother's Day Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eNothing can suck the life out of a once vibrant and purposeful woman like children. Give your wee ones the chance to say, \"I'm sorry for making you cranky, Mom\" with this \u003cem\u003eSucked The Life\u003c\/em\u003e Mother's Day Card! Giving this card might not make Mom any less ornery but it's a solid start! \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe perfect way to say \"thanks for everything, even though I drained your will to live.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e5”x7” and comes with its own envelope.  \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eEach card is printed on heavyweight bright white matte card stock and comes in a no-flap clear sleeve.The inside is blank for your kids to finally admit who exactly shaved the cat.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eDesigned by In a Nutshell Studio.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"In A Nutshell Studio","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191296315667,"sku":"IN375","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_4763.jpg?v=1782795746"},{"product_id":"thanks-for-being-my-friend-greeting-card","title":"Thanks For Being My Friend Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThanks For Being My Friend Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eHonestly, someone had to do it.  \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eYour bestie deserves to know they're basically the only person in the world you can tolerate. This card says what you're thinking but too lazy to text!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures 4.25\" x 5.5\" and is printed on high-quality, thick cardstock * Blank inside * White paper envelope included * Enclosed in a crystal clear card sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Ink \u0026amp; Attitude Stationery Company.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink \u0026 Attitude Stationery Company LLC","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191296348435,"sku":"INK088","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_2751.jpg?v=1782350466"},{"product_id":"friendship-is-weird-greeting-card","title":"Friendship is Weird Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFriendship is Weird Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eA bestie is supposed to be your missing puzzle piece but honestly, is the person who best matches your crazy with their crazy. Celebrate your bestie (That means you, Shnuggles) with this \u003cem\u003eFriendship is Weird\u003c\/em\u003e card. Give it to the whack job you can't live without!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures 4.25\" x 5.5\" and is printed on high-quality, thick cardstock * Blank inside * White paper envelope included * Enclosed in a crystal clear card sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Ink \u0026amp; Attitude Stationery Company.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink \u0026 Attitude Stationery Company LLC","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191296381203,"sku":"INK011","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_2755.jpg?v=1782349511"},{"product_id":"googled-your-symptoms-greeting-card","title":"Googled Your Symptoms Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGoogled Your Symptoms Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eWho among us has not played Dr. Google at one time or another. For the hypochondriacs in all of us who are convinced we have an incurable malady that might just be a pimple. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003ePerfect for the friend who texts you their WebMD findings at 2 AM. Cheers to medical hysteria! \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures 4.25\" x 5.5\" and is printed on high-quality, thick cardstock * Blank inside * White paper envelope included * Enclosed in a crystal clear card sleeve.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Ink \u0026amp; Attitude Stationery Company\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink \u0026 Attitude Stationery Company LLC","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191296413971,"sku":"INK167","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_5068.jpg?v=1782789883"},{"product_id":"do-better-greeting-card","title":"Do Better Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDo Better Greeting Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eWe all have someone in our life who just can't get it together.  Gift this card to your bestest dumpster fire friend and let them know you're onto them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures 4.25\" x 5.5\" and is printed on high-quality, thick cardstock * Blank inside * White paper envelope included * Enclosed in a crystal clear card sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Ink \u0026amp; Attitude Stationery Company.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink \u0026 Attitude Stationery Company LLC","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191296446739,"sku":"INK029","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_5078.jpg?v=1782789600"},{"product_id":"if-i-became-a-jedi-greeting-card","title":"If I Became a Jedi Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf I Became a Jedi Greeting Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eInappropriate force using is our jam!! This card can be gifted for any occasion. Give a greeting to your favorite Jedi whose force they use (Thanks Yoda)!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures 4.25\" x 5.5\" and is printed on high-quality, thick cardstock * Blank inside * White paper envelope included * Enclosed in a crystal clear card sleeve\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink \u0026 Attitude Stationery Company LLC","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54191296479507,"sku":"INK239","price":5.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_4962.jpg?v=1782793615"},{"product_id":"shit-pants-in-public-greeting-card","title":"Shit Pants in Public Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShit Pants in Public Greeting Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eFor when the gauge of a successful day is a clean pair of underwear. Gift this card to someone whom you know is going through it because when you are going through it, the only way is up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eProduct Description - This card \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003emeasures 4.25\"x 5.5\" Blank inside Greeting cards come packaged in a resealable cellophane bag with a white envelope\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Crooked Halo.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Crooked Halo","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54193763614995,"sku":"CHC11","price":4.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_5006.jpg?v=1782785591"},{"product_id":"favorite-person-in-history-greeting-card","title":"Favorite Person in History Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFavorite Person in History Greeting Card -\u003c\/strong\u003e Sometimes, there are just aren't enough ways to say, \"I'd post your bail for you.\" Show your bestie, husband, partner or podiatrist that you care with this thoughtful, personable card with a hint of stalker vibes. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures 4.25\"x 5.5\" Blank inside Greeting cards come packaged in a resealable cellophane bag with a white envelope.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Crooked Halo.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Crooked Halo","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54193763647763,"sku":"CHC85","price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_2723_2.jpg?v=1782350814"},{"product_id":"best-medicine-greeting-card","title":"Best Medicine Greeting Card","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"qMYqUG_convSearchResultHighlightRoot\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"\" data-turn-id-container=\"request-WEB:1f9b5937-378b-4259-ab99-8ce28f91c7b1-0\" data-is-intersecting=\"true\"\u003e\n\u003csection class=\"text-token-text-primary w-full focus:outline-none has-data-writing-block:pointer-events-none [\u0026amp;:has([data-writing-block])\u0026gt;*]:pointer-events-auto R6Vx5W_threadScrollVars scroll-mb-[calc(var(--scroll-root-safe-area-inset-bottom,0px)+var(--thread-response-height))] scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]\" dir=\"auto\" data-turn-id=\"request-WEB:1f9b5937-378b-4259-ab99-8ce28f91c7b1-0\" data-turn-id-container=\"request-WEB:1f9b5937-378b-4259-ab99-8ce28f91c7b1-0\" data-testid=\"conversation-turn-2\" data-scroll-anchor=\"false\" data-turn=\"assistant\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"text-base my-auto mx-auto pb-3 [--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-xs,calc(var(--spacing)*4))] @w-sm\/main:[--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-sm,calc(var(--spacing)*6))] @w-lg\/main:[--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-lg,calc(var(--spacing)*16))] px-(--thread-content-margin)\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"[--thread-content-max-width:40rem] @w-lg\/main:[--thread-content-max-width:48rem] mx-auto max-w-(--thread-content-max-width) flex-1 group\/turn-messages focus-visible:outline-hidden relative flex w-full min-w-0 flex-col agent-turn\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex max-w-full flex-col gap-4 grow\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-message-author-role=\"assistant\" data-message-id=\"db1d09f1-7ed7-4344-b245-69cae64b4e97\" dir=\"auto\" data-message-model-slug=\"gpt-5-5\" class=\"min-h-8 text-message relative flex w-full flex-col items-end gap-2 text-start break-words whitespace-normal outline-none keyboard-focused:focus-ring [.text-message+\u0026amp;]:mt-1\" data-turn-start-message=\"true\" tabindex=\"0\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex w-full flex-col gap-1 empty:hidden\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert wrap-break-word w-full light markdown-new-styling\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"355\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBest Medicine Greeting Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eFor the friend who needs a laugh almost as much as they need electrolytes. This cheeky get-well card delivers the perfect mix of sympathy and inappropriate humor — ideal for coworkers, siblings, best friends, or anyone surviving Montezuma's revenge. Because sometimes the road to recovery starts with a good laugh… and maybe some crackers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/section\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures 4.25\"x 5.5\" Blank inside Greeting cards come packaged in a resealable cellophane bag with a white envelope\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Crooked Halo.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Crooked Halo","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54193763680531,"sku":"CHC62","price":4.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_5032.jpg?v=1782789189"},{"product_id":"handmade-gifts-greeting-card","title":"Handmade Gifts Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHandmade Gifts Greeting Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eWhat I wouldn't give to hand off a child or two (Sorry kids). A perfect card for your bestie, Galentine's Day, or simply when you just want to unload a brat or two.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures 4.25\"x 5.5\" Blank inside with a white envelope.  \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by Crooked Halo.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Crooked Halo","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54193763713299,"sku":"CHC32","price":4.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_4987.jpg?v=1782788115"},{"product_id":"holy-shit-new-baby-card","title":"Holy Shit! New Baby Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHoly Shit! New Baby Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eHoly shit, indeed! A tiny human is equal parts a blessing and a complete shock to the system - sleepless nights, sore boobs and endless poop. This \u003cem\u003eHoly Shit! Are you Ready For This\u003c\/em\u003e card puts into words what all new parents think - what the hell do I do with this?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e5 x 4 in and comes with its own envelope. Made in the USA \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDesigned by Offensive Delightful.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"offensivedelightful","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54201820807443,"sku":"BB10 newsbaby","price":5.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_2338.jpg?v=1781917665"},{"product_id":"dumpster-fire-holidays-christmas-card","title":"Dumpster Fire Christmas Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDumpster Fire Christmas Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eNothing says, \"everything is going to hell\" like the holidays! Whether its creepy uncles, an ever expensing waistline and a tanked bank account, Christmas wreaks havoc on the best of us! Which is why you need the Dumpster Fire Christmas Card to keep everything in perspective. Perfect for friends, co workers or anyone who is just over it!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 4.5 x 5.5 in and is made in the USA.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDesigned by Offensive Delightful.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"offensivedelightful","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54201820840211,"sku":"HL33 dumpster","price":5.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_4691.jpg?v=1782783608"},{"product_id":"still-up-christmas-card","title":"Still Up? 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Because nothing good happens after 2 AM and let's be honest, anyone who is definitely is not on the nice list!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e4.5 x 5.5 in and comes with its own envelope.  Made in the USA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDesigned by Offensive Delightful.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"offensivedelightful","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54201820872979,"sku":"MX14 ustillup?","price":5.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_4689.jpg?v=1782783682"},{"product_id":"midcentury-dad-fathers-day-card","title":"Mid Century Dad Father's Day card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMid Century Dad Father's Day card - \u003c\/strong\u003eThis mid-century modern masterpiece celebrates the kind of father who actually knew how to lounge—pipe in hand, fireplace glowing, furniture impeccable. Happy Father's Day, you sons a bitches!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cspan\u003e4.5 x 5.5 in and comes with its own envelope.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"offensivedelightful","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54201820971283,"sku":"DD27 midcenturydad","price":5.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_4799.jpg?v=1782787063"},{"product_id":"love-your-penis-sexy-anniversary-love-card","title":"Love Your Penis Love \/ Anniversary Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLove Your Penis Love \/ Anniversary Card - \u003c\/strong\u003eDoes this card really need ANY clarification? Gift this cheeky card to anyone who, well... you know! Perfect for weddings, anniversaries, love, Valentine's Day or anytime you need to say, \"Oh wow!\" Because really, it's the best!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 5.5 x 4.5 in.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDesigned by Offensive Delightful.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"offensivedelightful","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54201821004051,"sku":"LV86 penis","price":5.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_4900.jpg?v=1782792034"},{"product_id":"spacecat-dreams","title":"Space Cat Dreams Miscellaneous Cards","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpace Cat Dreams Miscellaneous Cards - \u003c\/strong\u003eThis is an Impish Greetings favorite! For those of us who are not afraid to laugh in the face of danger (I mean, we're not those people but we know people like that). Perfect for encouragement, graduations, new jobs or the sudden realization that adulting is f*cking difficult!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - This card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e4.5 x 5.5 in.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"offensivedelightful","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54201821069587,"sku":"NW19 spacecat","price":5.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/1334\/1203\/files\/IMG_4953.jpg?v=1782793732"},{"product_id":"holy-shit-wedding-card","title":"HOLY SHIT! wedding card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHOLY SHIT! 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Especially, new parents! \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct Description - Card measures \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e5 x 7 inches and is made of a thick, durable matte cardstock and a kraft envelope. 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