• Holy Shit! New Baby Card photo 1 on the lighter grey backdrop
  • Holy Shit! New Baby Card photo 3 on the lighter grey backdrop
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Holy Shit! New Baby Card

Holy Shit! New Baby Card

$5.75 USD
$5.75 USD
Sale Sold out
Shipping calculated at checkout.

Tiny human. Massive holy-shit moment

A Proper Introduction

A tiny human has arrived. Equal parts miracle and complete system shock. There will be sleepless nights. Sore everything. Poop in quantities that defy logic. And a very real moment where you look at this small, screaming person and think: what the hell do I do with this?

This card says the quiet part out loud. Loudly.

All the Juicy Details

  • Blank inside — write something more composed than you feel.
  • 5” x 4”
  • Comes with its own envelope
  • Made in the USA by Offensive Delightful

When’s It Getting Here?

Your future as a card-and-gift-giving legend starts here. Most orders ship within 24 hours. Weekend orders are processed the next business day, and USPS delivery usually takes 3–6 business days after shipping.

Shipping is $3.95 for orders under $20 and $6.95 for orders of $20–$54.99. Spend $55 or more and shipping’s on us.

You’ll receive tracking by email so you can keep tabs on the laughs.

Questions? Contact info@impishgreetings.com.

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Quality Meets Sass

Cards and gifts with personality, chosen by our mother-daughter duo.

Quick Out the Door

Processed within 24 hours on business days. Free shipping on orders $55+

Good Service. Bad Influence.

Questions or an order hiccup? We pride ourselves in friendly customer service.

Explore Our Collections

Holy Shit! New Baby Card photo 1 on the lighter grey backdrop

Holy Shit! New Baby Card

$5.75